Making it Happen
Oh was it ever hard to get up this morning. It was overcast, threatening rain, so it was still dark when I got up. That always makes it so much more difficult I think. My legs are talking to me today after yesterday's workout. I got my quads and inner thighs good (or bad depending on your line of thought).
I was totally wishy washy about a weight workout today (any workout to be honest). Shoulders? Biceps? What to do, what to do. I ended up doing shoulders at lunch. I went with a triset that I repeated 4 times plus two additional exercises:
Front to side raise - 10
Rear delt press - 3x12
Seeing as how my legs felt like dead weight, I knew I wouldn't be running, spinning, or stepping for my cardio. I went with MMA Boxing because it's not very leg intensive. There are some drills, but no squatting, jumping, or kicking involved. It was just enough to get the legs warm and loosened up a bit. This ended up being a really good cardio session.
So, yesterday I posted early and mentioned that we'd likely have a grilled salad for dinner. Instead, we went to Vino's for pizza for a super late or super early lunch (3:30) however you look at it. Needless to say, when dinner time rolled around, neither of us was hungry in the slightest bit. Instead, we watched Thursday's Big Brother (double eviction, love those) and then War of the Worlds. We ended up having a bowl of popcorn with raisins, cranberries, and some white chocolate chips tossed in. So, I guess that was dinner.
So, I spent the better part of today beating myself up for such a crappy day of eating. Pizza again (and not my healthier version) then popcorn for dinner? So I had the devil and angel situation going on. No it wasn't the best way to eat, but the pizza was loaded with veggies and we request light on the cheese. Also, it's not like that is a typical eating habit for us. I don't eat nachos piled with cheese, no burgers and fries (real burger and real fried fries), no fried chicken, nothing like that. So how bad is that one day of eating out for pizza - not by whole-wheat crust with vegan cheese and all veggies? Why is it hard to just enjoy a day of indulgence like that? Why do I beat myself up? These are all rhetorical questions of course. I know I shouldn't be kicking myself or feeling super guilty. We had fun sitting back and relaxing and people watching.
But, it doesn't stop there. I set out to make some "Beef" Seitan yesterday afternoon too. One batch I made had a slightly different texture. I ran just shy on the wheat gluten flour that day, but Jason really liked that one. So, I had it in my head to try 2 things: add extra water to try to replicate the texture of the one goof batch that Jason like and to add in ground quinoa flour (long story). Ok, so it all fell apart while cooking. I was so pissed that I refused to even finish cooking it or put it away. I said several times something along the lines of, "I just freaking suck and can't even cook right." Probably some cursing too. Jason got really mad at me and told me to stop putting myself down for no reason. Well...humph.....I stomped off.
But again, why do we (or me in this case) feel the need to be perfect. Perfect eaters, perfect cooks, perfect at each and every workout, perfect wives, friends, sisters, mothers, etc. What is perfect? Who sets that standard? Oddly enough, there were two posts that I happened to read today from Jessica and Tina that really struck home for me. You need to go check them out. They're definitely on target for learning to love and accept ourselves for who we are, just as we are. I don't know if it is better or worse that I am not alone in this. Worse I think because it shows how many of us treat ourselves unkindly.
I know that was a bit of a ramble. I really have been thinking about this so much lately. I think it's been a factor in my recent blue days too. Rather than enjoying life to its fullest, I spend countless hours bashing myself for not being what I think I should be and not realizing that there are others (like my husband) who think I am great the way I am. They love me for me, quirks and all. Though, sometimes I think those quirks, like rigid schedules, are a hindrance to happiness too. I mean, why can't I go out on a school night? Why must I be in PJs at 5 pm and eat dinner absolutely no later than 7 pm (and that's late)? How much am I missing by trying to perfect my routine even? I think that's part of Monday Blues for me because I'm back to an uber restrictive schedule of being in bed by X time, being up at X time, eating at X time, no variations please.
Ok, I promise no more rambling for today.
I was thinking about doing either a Taco Salad Bowl or Grilled Veggies & Tofu Salad for dinner. Jason, however, was wanting to use my seitan disaster for BBQ Seitan Sandwiches. But then he decided sloppy joes sounded better. I've never made sloppy joes friends. So, I had a new mission for Monday: Sloppy Seitan Joes.
Sloppy Seitan Joes
Seitan, small dice/crumble size
1/2 white onion, finely diced
1/2 green bell pepper, diced
1/2 red bell pepper, diced
1 carrot, diced
Minced garlic (to taste)
1 15oz can no-salt tomato sauce
1 tbsp (or to taste) agave nectar (or honey)
1 tbsp (or to taste) molasses
To taste: salt, pepper, red pepper, thyme, cumin, celery seed, oregano
In large skillet, saute onions, carrots, peppers, garlic, and seitan until veggies are soft and seitan is browned. Add in remaining ingredients and allow to simmer. You can add extra water if it gets too thick.
I couldn't tell you the last time I had a sloppy joe, so I really am not sure how they compare. But, either way, these turned out really well. It's definitely going to be a keeper of a recipe.